The COLOR WARS
by Aishi-Cc
Summary: What do you get when the Gundam Pilots watch too much DBZ? The COLOR WARS! Welcome to the War. Warning WAY OUT OF CHACTER! So rated for swearing and suggestive dialog.
1. Intro

The  
  
COLOR WARS  
  
Aishi-Cc  
  
Ok at the moment I have 7 of theses written. It's a pointless comedy I just came up with. Basically I pick a DBZ character and think of a GW character they remind me of, or the other way around. I had a good response with these. The first one is PINK. It's a WUFEI=VEGETA one. Very funny. Tell me what you think ok. PINK has to get TEN reviews before I'll post GOLD, unless properly motivated. Well go enjoy. 


	2. PINK

"PINK!?!?"  
  
Ok this totally pointless. I wrote it when I was zoning big time. Any Wufei hater will love this. I don't hate Wu, well sometimes anyway =^_-=. I was kinda made at him for some reason when I wrote this. All of you DBZ fans will get the short of point of this fic. I put a lot of little jokes in here. Watch out for em. DBZ, Gundam Wing, ECT dose not belong to me. Please R/R. Thanks for wasting your time on little old me. * Bats eyes* Ok I'm done with you. Go read. Bye-ee! Aishi-chan.  
  
  
  
" All right!" Duo screamed happily as flopped in front of the wide screen TV. The other pilots all stared at doorway as Duo began singing " DRAGON.DRAGON. ROCK THE DRAGON…" "It's on again. Why do you let him watch that show?" Wufei asked as he glared towards the Living room. "Have you ever watched it?" Quatre asked. "Of course not!" Wufei shouted, clearly annoyed. Heero looked up from his typing. "It's only an Anime Wufei." He said with shake of his head. Trowa only smirked as he finished his cup of coffee. All the pilots stared again when Duo shouted a famous Vegeta quote. "EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH PROVE YOU'RE AN IDIOT!" "Sounds like something you'd say Wufei." "Barton?!" Wufei said as he stared at Trowa shocked. Trowa just Vegeta smirked him back. "Trowa be nice." Quatre chided. "Yes Cat." Trowa said as he stood.  
  
"Having fun?" Duo turned to face Trowa leaning in the doorway. "Hey Tro." Trowa walked in and sat down next to Duo. Who was sitting Two feet away from the TV like a true DBZ fan. "So have come to watch some high class entertainment buddy?" "Yeah." "So curiosity finally caught me a cat. "Trowa cocked an eyebrow at him. Duo just smiled at him. "Oh goody the damn commercials are over." " Ok pineapple head there is Vegeta. He's very Wufei. That's Trunks. He so kicks ass. That guy's Yamcha. He's a pussy. That's Krillian; he's a living punching bag. Tien and Chaozu. Those two just scare me. They're pusses to. The chick is Bulma and yes that's her real hair color." Trowa shut his mouth. " She goes psycho on everybody all the time. She's really funny. So is Krillian." Duo started laughing when Krillian made one of his faces Trowa soon joined in. "I could so see Wufei in pink and yellow." "Tro you naughty boy. Don't go giving me any ideas." The two of them exchanged an evil smile. "I'll get the pants if you get shirt?" Trowa nodded. "He's gonna hate this." Duo said still smiling. "I know. I'll get the camera." Trowa said before he ran off.  
  
"So what do you think those two are doing?" Quatre asked. "Knowing Duo I don't want to know." Wufei muttered. Quatre blushed bright red. Heero and Wufei exchanged a look. "Wh..what?" Quatre asked. "Why are you blushing?" Heero asked. "Oh…um…no reason." "Ah hun….What the?" The pilots all looked up at the sound of something crashing upstairs. "Umm…Wufei I think that's came from your room." WHAT?!?!"  
  
Wufei screamed as he ran from the room. His chair crashing to the floor. Heero leaned across the table. "You still haven't told me why you were blushing. Heero said in a slightly teasing tone. Quatre only blushed harder.  
  
"Maxwell." Wufei growled as he open his door. Duo smiled at him from the bed. "Hiya Wuey." "Don't call me that" He growled again. "Ok Wu Wu." "Don't call me that either." " Ok Mr. Fluffy Pants." With that Wufei lunged. He jerked in surprise when someone grabbed his ponytail. He heard a tsk tsk tsk before the room went black.  
  
"Trowa would you be a dear and go get some more mouse?" Duo asked in a rich British accent. "But of course Duo." Trowa replied in a snobby French one. They broke into a fit of laughter. "I'll b e right back." Still laughing Trowa walked out of the room. "What's so funny?" Trowa turn. Quatre stood looking at him confused. "Oh Hiya Cat." Trowa said as he walked past him to the upstairs bathroom. "Trowa what are you doing?" Quatre called over the sound of bottles clinking together. Trowa walked out of the bathroom loaded down with mouse and hairspray. "Who said we're doing anything? Can you get the door? Thanks" Trowa smiled at a very confused Quatre before closing the door with his foot. Quatre put his ear to the door.  
  
"Did you bring the camera?" Duo asked as Trowa dropped his lout on the bed. "Yeah, and I have two hidden cameras in here already." "Tro you are a naughty boy aren't you?" Duo teased. Trowa smiled. " Oh stop you're flattering me. We all know you're the naughty one." "Me? But I'm so cute. How could anyone as cute as me be naughty?" They both started laughing again. Duo set down his empty can of hairspray. "Ok…ok give me the camera." Dou said breathlessly. Trowa wiped his mouse cover fingers on the carpet before giving it over. "Ok let's do it. Trowa darling would you please stand over there? Thanks so much." Trowa just rolled his eyes. Duo started taking pictures. "Yes Yes Yes You're an Animal." Duo shot Trowa an evil smile." You're a sexy bitch. Isn't he a sexy bitch?" Trowa just laughed at him. "That's not going him feel like a very sexy bitch." Trowa just shook his head, tears started to stream down his cheeks. Duo smiled. ~I am good. ~ "Yes Yes Yes. No No No, and I'm spent" Trowa reached out and caught the camera. "You're too much Duo." "Stop it. You're embarrassing me. See I'm blushing." "Come on Duo let's go." "What's the hurry?" "It's all most fun time." Trowa just blinked as Duo ran out the door. ~Damn that boy can run. ~  
  
"What did you do?" Heero asked as Duo walked in to the kitchen. "Me? Why is it always me?" Heero just smiled. "Because it always is." "I'm hurt." "Poor baby" Trowa teased as he patted Duo's head. "You can say that again" Duo sniffed. "Ok, poor baby." Trowa said with a shrug. "So what were you two up to?" Quatre asked a he walked in. "Nothing Cat." They said together. They both looked at Quatre innocently for about 5 seconds before they started giggling. Heero blinked. "Trowa what did you put in your coffee?" "Nothing, why?  
  
"MAXWELL WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" Wufei screamed from upstairs. Trowa sighed. "3-2-1" "PINK?!?!" Quatre jumped "What the…?" "We bad?" Duo asked "We bad." Trowa answered as they gave each other high fives. "Are you two drunk or something?" Heero asked. They both just smiled at him.  
  
Wufei stormed down the stairs. He was swearing a pair of bright yellow bellbottoms and one of Quatre's pink shirts; sleeves rolled up. His hair was artfully sculpted in to a Vegeta style. Looks more like DBGT Vegeta hair since Wufei's hair isn't super long. You work with what you got. =^_^= " MAXWELL. BARTON!" Wufei grabbed his sword off the counter. He let out a war cry as he charged t6he two of them. Trowa flipped out of the way. He landed on the table and ran. Duo just ran. Wufei slashed the table in half before casing after them again. "WUFEI BECARFULL!" Quatre called Quarter groaned. "WATCH OUT FOR THE LAMPS!" Heero just shook his head "What?" Quatre asked. "It's just a cartoon." Heero Answered with a smirk.  
  
  
  
Ok, well that was nuts. Right now I bet you're asking yourself "What inspired that?" Well even if you aren't I'm going to tell you any way. The first was my own twisted little imagination. The second was reading the fight between Sorata "Sora" and Yuto one too many times. If you've never seen X/1999 or read the manga then I suggest you do. Anyway in the first two manga, the only two I have. Sniff sniff=;_;=, Soar takes on Yuto. They spend about half of the fight joking around. Very funny. I love those to. That fight never happens in the Movie. Very sad. They both lose some of their humor. Yuto loses almost all of it. In the words of Wufei "Injustice." Anyway check out the X/1999. I hope you enjoyed this. 


	3. GOLD

GOLD!!!!  
  
Aishi-chan =*~*=  
  
Because you asked for it. Are you ready for my next chapter in the "Color Wars" fic series? All of you who have already read PINK!?!? know to expect, maybe. In GOLD!!!! Yet another pilot under go a DBZ transformation. Can you guess who? This time I'm telling. na na na. keke. Hopefully you will all love this one to. Hey I can dream can't I? Please R/R. It makes me so HAPPY! I'm serious. I have no life here. Enjoy #2.  
  
Aishi-Chan  
  
P.s. You may try this at home. =^_-=  
  
Duo's eyes lit up. "I bet we'll find what we want here." Trowa rolled his eyes. "What makes you think so?" Duo put his hands on his hips. "Tro, thrust me on this one. I only need a few more shades blonde." "Duo you already have over 20." Duo dusted off his white jeans. "Not enough." "Overkill." "Tro don't worry about it." Duo called as he walked threw the door.  
  
Trowa followed the red tank topped clad Duo as he walked threw the hair care aisles. "Nope. Nah. No." Duo chanted as he pushed the cart. Trowa paused to roll his long navy blue sleeves up. "SWEET!!" Duo squealed liked a giddy schoolgirl. Trowa just sweat dropped as he set the 2 bags in the cart. "What's sweat?" Duo just smiled as he moved the 2 bags under the cart. Trowa just stared as Duo as started shoving cans of gold hairspray into the now empty cart. When there were 30 cans in the cart Duo let out a depressed sigh. "What?" Trowa asked totally lost. Duo looked at him puppy dog eyes shining. "All gone." Duo pouted in an adorable kiddy voice. Trowa dropped. " Duo what do you need all this for?" He asked after he got back on his feet. Duo smiled in reply. He ran aisle. He returned a few minutes later an another cart in tow. "To the Clothes!" Duo declared as he ran off yet again. Trowa sighed as fallowed.  
  
Half an Hour Later.  
  
Trowa was pushing the a cart full 30 cans of gold hair spray and stuffed with orange & blue clothing, a pair of black boots, a pair of blue arm bands, a pair of gold shoelaces, and 2 bottles of red nail polish. Duo followed pushing the empty cart. He was humming Rock the Dragon. His eye's lit up suddenly. He started running towards the HUGE wall of candy. When he fast enough he jumped on the back cart, riding it across store. All the time screaming "CANDY!!" at the top of his lungs. Trowa cringed when the cart crashed into 'The Great Wall of Candy.' as Duo always called it. Duo had ended up with his ass hanging out of the cart. "Are you alright?" Trowa asked as he pulled Duo from out of the cart.  
  
Duo looked up at him. "Mama?" Duo asked tongue hanging out the side of his mouth. Trowa sweat dropped yet again. "Duo?" Trowa asked worried. "Mama mama mama mama." Duo wailed as Trowa reached out and plucked a lollypop out of Duo's hair. "CANDY!" Duo shouted as chomped his teeth down on the candy and Trowa's fingers. Trowa pulled his hand back. He whipped the spit off on Duo's braid. Duo just chewed whole thing plastic and all. He coughed and looked around confused. "What happen The Great Wall? And while we're at it why do I feel like ate plastic." "You and you did." Duo rubbed the back of his head clearly embarrassed. "Sorry about that." Trowa snorted. "Please don't tell He-chan." Duo begged. "Oh he'd have a field day." Duo glompped onto Trowa's legs, nearly knocking the taller boy over. "Please NO! Please. I'll be good. I promise. Please, please, please…" "Ok, ok just let go." Duo jumped to his feet. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank umm." Trowa pinched Duo's lips shut. "Ok I get it. I'm thanked." Duo nodded. Trowa let go.  
  
"Tro you like chocolate right?" Trowa eyed him suspiciously. "Yes, why?" Duo walked over to the Great wall, dragging the cart. Duo began cleaning the shelves of all things chocolate. Trowa just stared at him as he filled the cart with every piece of chocolate candy there. "DONE!" Trowa sweat dropped while the crowd of gathered shoppers dropped, and stayed down.  
  
25 minutes and a maze of fainted bodies later  
  
.  
  
"Is that all?" The cashier asked. She was a small old lady with a friendly smile. "Yes Ma'am" Duo answered. "Ok that comes to…. oh my..$2,578 and 2 cents." Trowa glared at Duo. Duo handed the lady, Mary Rose, one Quatre's credit card. " Don't worry Cat said I could bye as much I wanted." Trowa's glare softened a speck. "Have a nice day boys." "Yes Ma'am." Duo said with a smile. Trowa only nodded.  
  
"I can't wait to try it out!" Duo beamed as he skipped out the doors. "You're insane. Why did I even agree to come with you?" " Umm? Maybe it's because Wu Wu's still mad at us." Trowa smiled. Their first stop had been to drop off and buy more film. "Hey Tro do you think Wufey is still mad at us?" "He did say he'd shave you bald if you think of trying that again." Trowa reminded him, a hint of evil in his voice. Duo grabbed his braid. "Oh, NO he won't!" Trowa just smiled as he closed the trunk of the blood red Mercedes' Bends.  
  
Duo bounded into the driver's seat " I LOVE this car!" Trowa shook his head. "That's only because it goes really fast." "So? I like fast. Fast is good. I mean my Deathscythe Hell can out your HeavyArms." "Is that so?" "You betcha." "Can yours flip?" Trowa asked ass he sat down in the passenger seat. "No…none of them can flip. Things that heavy just don't flip." Trowa crossed his arms behind his head. "Mine dose." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to." "Dose not." "Dose to."…………..  
  
Wufei was glaring into the bathroom mirror. He had spent the last 2 hours trying to unvegeta his hair. He glared even harder at the mirror. It hadn't moved an inch. "I'm gonna kill 'em." He turned when someone knocked on the door. "Wufei? You ok in there?" "No Quatre." Wufei half growled. "It doesn't look that bad…" "NO decent warrior would have his hair stuck up like this." Wufei hissed. Quatre backed away from the door. " It's only hair." "I'm NOT Maxwell! I REFUSE to parade around looking like a BAKA!" Wufei shouted as he marched around the room. He stopped when he noticed Quatre's sheered shirt. "Quatre?" "Yes?" " I'm afraid I ruined your shirt." "That's ok." "I'm afraid I don't look as good in pink as you do." Wufei confessed sadly as he shook his head. "Me!?" Quatre asked clearly surprised by the complement. "Yes. It looks nice on you." "Thanks. That's really nice."  
  
  
  
"Quatre stop talking to the door." Heero teased as he walked up behind him. "Hi Heero." Quatre greeted him cheerfully. "How is it?" Heero whispered. Quatre frowned. "That bad hun?" "I'm afraid so." Quatre answered sadly. "MAXWELL! BARTON!" Wufei screamed as he threw stuff at the door. The other 2 couldn't help but smile when a rubber ducky went squeak  
  
  
  
10 minuets later  
  
  
  
Trowa set the last of the bags down on Duo's bed. "Trowa do you think you could help me?" "Do what?" Duo began dumping dyes on the bed. "Could you dye my hair? I'd probably mess it up and I trust you." "Thanks Duo." "I'll go wash this wonderful hair of mine while you get everything ready ok." "Yeah sure."  
  
  
  
"I wonder what was in all those bags?" Quatre asked as he fallowed Heero down the stairs. "I'm not sure I really want to know." "Do you think He'll try it again?" "Not on Wufei." Quatre shuddered. "Then who's next?" Heero stopped and looked at him. They both turned to look back up the stairs. They both shudder as they quickly walked as far from Duo's room as they could.  
  
  
  
"That's cold." Duo complained for the 100th time, literally. "Then you should hold still" "Tro-man I've been sitting here for almost an hour" Duo wined. "Well you're then one who bought 30 cans of this stuff." Duo sighed. "How dose it look?" "Very gold. That is what you were going for right?" "Yeah! Oh man I can't wait!" Trowa sprayed some of the gold spray into his left hand. He dipped his fingers into the cold golden liquid. "Hold still I don't want to get this in your eyes." "Duo closed his eyes. "DAMN! That's cold." Trowa quickly finished dyeing the other eyebrow. "Sorry about that." "Yeah I bet.. You can be so cruel sometimes Trowa." Trowa shrugged. "Can I open my eyes now?" "Sure." Duo sat up. "Ok. I'm going to change now." He grabbed the pile of Orange & Blue clothes. "I'll be right back. Don't go any where ok?" Duo winked as he closed the door. Trowa rolled his eyes ~Americans.~.  
  
  
  
Wufei marched out onto the porch. He noticed Quatre and Heero were already there talking. "Hi Wufei." Quatre called. Wufei nodded as he walked over. "Have either of you two seen Barton or Maxwell?" "Not since the two of them got back, and that was a couple of hours ago." Quatre answered. Heero nodded as he sipped his coffee. "I'm sure they're planning something." "Wufei clam down. They only got carried away." Wufei pointed to his hair. "This is NOT carried away." Quatre giggled. "You wouldn't be laughing if it was your hair." "Wufei I think you're taking this a little too personally. It was only a joke." Quatre smiled. "Yeah they could of shaved you bald like Krillian." Quatre said before giggling again. ""Who?" Heero asked. "The little bald guy. Heero nodded completely lost. "If they even…." "Quatre don't say thing like that you'll only make him madder," Heero teased. "You two are just patronizing me." "No we aren't Wufei." Quatre assured him. "Yes we are." Heero said clearly amused. "You need to lighten up Wufei." Wufei growled. "We'll see how funny it is when it's your turn." The other two looked at each other as the swallowed.  
  
  
  
Duo opened the door. He was now wearing a pair of loose orange pants, a navy t-shirt with half their sleeves cut off at an angel, an orange loose fitting vest. His long hair was now Sayian-jin blonde with a golden sheen and down. Trowa just stared at him. "Nice hun?" "You look like…" "Yep that was the idea." Duo tied the navy belt around his waist before slipping the navy armbands on. He then carefully slipped on the black boots. Which Trowa had painted the red lines on. Duo struck the Kamehamaha pose. He was now the spitting image of SSJ3 Goku; well except for the fact his eyes were still purple. "You may complement me now." "They're gonna flip." "Is that your way of saying you don't like it?" "No, I love it. It's just that they will flip." "Well I'm a DBZ otaku and I want the world to know." Trowa sweat dropped. "Come on let's go show you off." "Alright! This is gonna be great!" Duo cheered as he skipped out the door. Trowa shook his heads before following.  
  
  
  
"MAXWELL WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF??!!" "Hi to you to Wu wu." "Duo…..wha…?" Quatre stammered. Heero just sweat dropped. Trowa shrugged at them. "Trowa why did you let him do that?" Quatre asked shocked. "What is he?" Heero asked once again lost. "I'm Super Sayian- jin level 3 Goku, or in other words SSJ3 Goku. And what do you mean Trowa let me? He helped." The other 3 stared at Trowa. "What?" "Barton." Wufei muttered while shaking his head sadly.  
  
  
  
"What are you boys doing?" Relena asked as she walked up the sidewalk. Duo assumed the opening pose. "KA..ME..HA..MA..HA!" He screamed as the Blue energy ball flew from his hands. Relena barely had time to scream before she was hit. The pilots all stared at a smoking Relena. Relena coughed and fell over with a thud. Duo just laughed as he began to perform the dance of joy.  
  
  
  
The End…….  
  
For Now  
  
Ok well I posted GOLD way before I wanted to. I really wanted more reviews but I decided I wanted to get it back in the new stuff. If you like PINK and GOLD please tell others about them or it will be awhile until you people see BLUE. 


	4. BLUE

BLUE????  
  
Aishi-Cc  
  
Hello all you PINK!?!? & GOLD!!!! fans! Welcome to the CR WARS saga #3. Who will be today's victim? Who will be next? If you read by Bio then you already know. So I'm going to shut up before you people get bore with me. R/R. Don't forget to tell me who Dorothy should become. Ja Ne at the end kay. I'm sure you will miss me. =^_~=. = Me  
  
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing or Dragon Ball Z, please don't go down that road.  
  
My words: This chapter is dedicated to Katana-sama. She used puppy dog eyes on me. Even the mighty Cartal cartal fall to pieces at puppy dog eyes. *Sweat drops* *cough* enjoy.  
  
It had been several hours since the smoking Relena had been locked up downstairs. Quatre was still up, watching DBZ tapes of course. He had been watching parts of Duo's extensive collection for hours. Mostly Bulma episodes. He loved watching Bulma go psycho on everyone. Who doesn't? He really liked the headband she wore in the Nemekin shows. He had always envied Dorothy's headband. I hate them myself. He let his mind drift to an earlier conversation. Pink  
  
"Quatre?" "Yes?" "I'm afraid I ruined your shirt." "That's ok." "I'm afraid I don't look as good in pink as you do." "Me?" "Yes it looks nice on you." "Thanks Wufei that's nice."  
  
Quatre rubbed his chin. "Hummm…." This is when you should run  
  
"Hey Tro." Duo beamed as he walked in. Trowa looked up at him. "Hey." "Where's Cat? He's usually up by now?" "Out." "Did anyone else come in here yet?" Yeah, they left to." Trowa answered before sipping his java. "So it's just us and Relena hun?" "Yep, She's still locked in the basement. She's not very happy." "That's probably because she has to drink this paint thinner you call coffee. Trowa cocked an eyebrow at him. "Se people who sleep don't need a whole can of coffee in one mug." Trowa glared at him. you don't diss Tro's Java. Duo jump when a crash sound from downstairs. "Wha the?" " You guys let me out! HEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
Duo clamped his hands over his ears. "Told ya." Duo nodded. He thought for a second before grinning. "Maybe we should shut her up?" "Duck tape?" "Duck tape."  
  
Relena glared at the door. Her once white dress was now tattered and gray. What really ticked her off was that Dorothy, as a B-day present, had given the dress to her only three days ago. "I'm sooo gonna kill 'em." Relena perked up when the door opened. "Trowa please let me out. I've never done anything to you. PLEASE!" Relena begged as Trowa tried to shake her off his leg. Duo giggled. "Awwwww. I'm telling He-chan." Duo teased as he step off the last step. Relena got to her feet. "You've been very nosy Relena." Trowa chided. "You can't keep me here." "Did you here that she said we can't do something?" Duo said. "Tsk tsk tsk. Relena nice girls shouldn't lie like that. Duo hand me the bag." Relena backed up. "Yesss master." Duo said using his best Egor impression. Trowa calmly remove a roll of duck tape. "Wha…...wha…what are you going to do with that?" Relena backed up even father as the two boys advance laughing insanely.  
  
One hour and a lot of duck tape latter.  
  
Relena had been mummy wrapped so only her ears, nose, and eyes could be seen. She had been carefully secured 4 feet up the wall. "That'll teach you to Heero like…like that." Duo shuddered. Trowa nodded in total agreement. "Mm hummm uuumm!" "I don't think she's happy." Trowa said with a smile. " Duo smiled back "Good." Trowa sighed. "What Tro-man." I am the first one to ever call him that right? "We will have to let her down sometime." "Oh I already thought of that. Do you think red's her color?" Trowa blinked in confusion. "Oh yeah I keep forgetting you missed that one." He grabbed Trowa's arm. "Come on I'll show you what I'm rambling about." Relena watched them as they walked up that stairs. She waited until they left to try and get out. "Mum humm mmm num!" Relena mumbled as she wiggled. She froze when she heard the ominous sound of tearing duck tape. "Mm nm." Relena mumbled as fell to the floor. "Mmmmm"  
  
45 minutes after Relena was duck taped.  
  
"Ok, is this everything? Duo asked. Trowa looked over the list. "We forgot hair curlers or a curly wig." Duo smacked himself. Trowa started at the large red handprint. "Good one" "Thanks." "Do we go now?" 'Yeah sure. I'll drive." "Which car?" " I was thinking the black convertible." "Kay." Trowa answered absently as he opened the door. He stopped. A Bulma look alike was standing in his way. She was dress in a hot pink skintight spandex jumpsuit with a matching headband and bitch boots. "Hey Tro-man wha...Damn." Duo toke the lady's hand. "Did anyone ever tell you just like Bulma?" The stranger blushed. "Thank you. So where are you boys going? She asked in a flirting tone all the while playing with Duo's braid. " Just out." Trowa answered. He shook his head at the drooling Duo. She turned to look at Trowa. She gave him a flirty smile while she batted her lashes. "Can we help you with something miss?" He asked his voice just a tad stressed. Oh no I don't need any help Trowa." Trowa froze at the sound of his "name" said so casually be this girl. "If not help then what can we do for you?" Duo asked still drooling over her and oblivious to Trowa's reaction. The girl smiled. "For starts you can kindly remove your hand Duo." She said sweetly. "Wait a minute how do you know my name?" The girl giggled a very familiar giggle. Duo's jaw hit the floor, latterly. "Quatre what did you do?" Trowa asked alarmed. "Hun? I just had my hair done?" Trowa pointed to Quatre's chest where Duo's hand had just been. "Oh. These are fake." Duo grabbed Trowa's' arm and ran form the house. Quatre smiled as he looked at his reflection in a pink compact. "I guess I do look good in pink." He winked at his reflection. "Ke ke."  
  
The End  
  
Till the next chapter anyway.  
  
Ok you can blame the song "Dude looks like a lady." You can get a funny AMV to the song here. Ask nice and RED will get posted sooner. Joy for all Relena Hatters including yours truly. What? That yell of her's get's on my nerves. Consider RED part of my revenge. If you hate Relena then please R/R Stupid Girl. If you like my funny little fics then go check out the Why? Files. I know there's isn't much there yet but I will post one every week or so come back often. Don't forget to R/R the whole Saga. Don't you dare miss a second of the insanity. 


	5. RED

Hello again all DBZ & GW fans! Are you ready for the next chapter in the series dubbed the "COLOR WARS"? I bet you are. If not then please take a moment and follow this suggestion. Walk over to a wall. There? Good. Now bang your head against it. For a lest painful approach you can just drink some of the wonder called "Happy Crack" Explained in the Why? Files, along with easy recipe. keke. In case you forgot this is #4. In this one Relena will be my victim. I really, really don't like Relena. So I wanted to choose a DBZ on'na that annoyed me, and many other fans, the same way. I choose a women who sounds almost as bad as her HERO scream.* Shudders* In case you haven't already guessed I've chosen the fat, red head that Chi-chi decked. I'm sure you all remember her from the tournaments ep.s. I really, really, don't like her either. How anyone can like either one of them blows me twisted little mind. This was a match made in Heaven. If this sound interesting then by all means continue. If not.well I have nothing to say to you . Please R/R. I love reviews. After this chapter my 10 reviews be for updating with be in effect. Basically look for PURPLE after T.C.W has 20 reviews. I'm sorry but I need the extra time. If you ask really nice I'll tell you who's who in my other stories. I've made you suffer enough. keke. See ya when I see ya. Aishi-Cc  
  
RED???! ************************************************************************ Relena wiggled across the floor. It had been almost 2 hours since she had been force to undergo the indignity of being duck taped to the wall. Her duck tape cocoon was now fraying and slime covered. She froze when she saw movement. I large skull white rat scampered up to her. It's left eye had a large slash above it. Relena tried to squirm away. "MMM! M MMM! OOOOMMMMM!" The rat just grinned at her as it walked over to her $1,500, a piece, Italian leather shoes. "MMMM MMM?" Relena begged pathetically. The rat shook his head at her as it grabbed the nearest shoe. He happily began tearing it apart much to Relena's despair She angry whirled around when the door was opened.  
  
"Lucy you have some explaining to do." Duo called in a perfect Ricky Ricardo He has a lot of practice. Trowa just shook his head in amusement. "MMEM MUM UMMM OMUUMMM!" " So how is our victim today?" Duo asked crouched down to get a better look at her. "Aren't we a dirty little thing?" Duo cooed as Trowa set the bags down. "You should have stayed on the wall Relena" Trowa told her calmly. She turned her head to glare daggers at him. Trowa knelt down next to her now shredded shoes. "How sad.' He said as he held out his hand. Duo giggled before turning his back on him. Relena watched as the rat climbed in to Trowa's open hand. Duo began unwrapping Relena. "Tro-man stop playing with your little friend an help me out here." The rat stuck his tongue out at Duo. "Duo you might want to consider moving." "Hun?" Trowa Turned his head and a released an earsplitting whistle. Duo jumped back as a stream of rats ran in front of him and swarmed over the duck taped body of Relena. "Damn" Duo hissed out as watched the rats swarmed. After a few minutes Trowa let out another whistle, this one lower and shorter, witch caused all the rats to disappear faster then they had appeared. "How.how did you do that?" Duo asked. Trowa just smiled. Relena jumped to her feet. " THAT WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING THING I HAVE EVER HAD TO GO THREW!!!!!" Relena stamped her foot in annoyance. Her long blonde hair was matted, dirty, and chunks of were still stuck on the duck tape. Duo looked over at Trowa before falling on his laughing all the way. Trowa only grinned as he set the white rat down. " You Two!! I KIL YOU BOTH!!!!" "My my, such threats from the very symbol of peace." Trowa chided. This caused Duo to laugh even harder. Trowa ignored him. Relena shrieked when Trowa a long knife from his sleeve. Relena screamed when Trowa lunged at her. He slashed most of the long full skirt off. "MY DRESS!!!!" Relena shrieked. Duo stood up. "Ok let's get this party started." Duo said as Trowa replaced his blade. Duo grabbed very, very, very...chubby body bodysuit. "What.. are you two going to do with that?" Grinned. "I know you're blonde but Damn women!" She huffed at Duo. She didn't even notice Trowa was behind her that is until he grabbed her. "Let me GO! I AM GOING TO TELL HEEROOO!!!!!" They both ignored her as Duo slid the suit past her knees. He fell on his ass when one Relena flailing feet connected with his chin. He sat up rubbing his chin. "Hey Tro? How about I hold her for a while?" Trowa shrugged. "Fine by me." Relena glared at Trowa when he walked past her. She planned to kick him to.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- Five minuets later =^--'--^= ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------  
  
Relena pouted. She was now in the bodysuit. poor baby The two boys grinned evilly at her. "Come now Relena why the long face? Is it because you put on a little weight?" Relena raised her head to glare at her taunter. Barton, I will kill you." Duo grinned. " Isn't nice to feel loved Tro?" "Yes it is." Relena pouted some more. ~ I wish I could have kicked him to. And to think I tried to find him once. ~  
  
"What the?" Wufei shouted at the hot pink spandexed clad woman who was standing in the doorway. Quatre winked at a very ticked off Wufei and an amused Heero. " Oh Hello." He said sweetly. The to boys blinked at her. "Did Quatre let you in miss?" Heero asked. Quatre blushed slightly. ~ So he is polite to girls. Score one for Duo. ~ "Oh why yes. You may call me Bulma." "I am Heero and this is Wufei." "Charmed" Quatre purred. "Bulma have you seen the others?" "Oh you mean Trowa and Duo? " Heero nodded. "Yes they went downstairs after came home. Let me see they said something about having fun with the prisoner or something?" "MAXWELL I'd expected this form but I always thought BARTON had more self-control!!!!!" Wufei ranted as he marched from kitchen. The two who remained blushed thinking similar thought but about very UN similar people. "Oh it seems I upset him." "Don't worry Wufei likes being upset." He turned back to look at Bulma. "It was a pleaser to meet you Bulma." "Thank you. It was nice meeting you to." Quatre batted his long eyelashes at him. Heero smiled. " I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!!!!" "Fun indeed." Heero joked.  
  
Duo moved to stand beside Trowa before holding up a video camera. "So Tro do think red's her color?" Trowa made a face at the camera. Relena was now in the red dress. "You heard it here first folks." Duo said as he stuck his head in front of the camera.  
  
"Tro would you be a sweetheart and take this? Make sure you get my good side now." Duo flashed him a smile as he handed over the camera. Trowa just rolled his eyes at him. "Hello and welcome to Duo's Hair Dos!" He gave the camera a cheesy grin. "Today our quest is no less Relena Dorlin. The queen of all Earth and space." Duo started clapping. Relena glared at the camera. "Are you two having fun?" Duo grabbed the hair dye. "First we'll begin with the dye treatment." He reached over and pulled a cord. A set of red curtains were pulled back. I'm as lost as you on where they from =^o_o^= A golden sink was reveled. *shrug* " We'll begin with the Sink o' Matic." " Duo you watch too many to infomercials." Duo did another cheesy grin. "Never forget Trowa baby." "Baby?"  
  
  
  
"You are NOT dyeing my HAIR!!!" Relena screeched at them. "Don't worry Re you're in good hands." Relena growled. "You know Heero likes red heads?" Trowa said calmly. Relena instantly settled. "Well if he likes them.' Duo gave Trowa a *really?* look. Trowa just grinned. After that Relena sat obediently still as Duo dumped the red hair dye onto her head. Trowa tried not to laugh as Duo made funny faces into the camera the whole time. Relena looked up. Duo's eyes were crossed, his tongue was hanging out., and his face contorted. "What are you doing up there?" "Oh.Um.. just amusing everyone in TV land." "Why are you taping this anyway?" "Just for our own amusement. " Relena relaxed. "Ok I'll be right back." Duo Called as he walked over to Trowa.  
  
"So how funny am I?" "You're the best Duo. How much longer?" "Um..Let us see." He looked at his watch. " In about ten minutes we can start curling her hair." He looked up. "How's our time?" "Tape and batteries." "Noonononoooo! I haven't even began my masterpiece!." Trowa set picked up a bag and set it down next to camera on the only table. "The world will never see my genius. Oh the HUMANNITY!!!" Duo wailed as he slumped to floor. "Oh nooooooooonononononon." Trowa just shook his head as he replaced the batteries. "Why? Why? Why?" Duo looked up when he heard a snap. "All better." Trowa said with a shrug. Duo jumped to feet before he glompped Trowa. "I LOVE YOU MAN!!!!!" He kissed both of Trowa's cheeks before he let the studded boy go. "What was that?" Trowa asked when he could speck again. Duo blushed "Sorry the Godfather trilogy was on last night." 'You and TV are a dangerous thing." Duo beamed. "Ok I'm way." Trowa focused the camera. "Welcome back ladies and gents. We will now us the Curly Wurlly to give the our lovely quest the perfect curls." 'Too many infomercials." Trowa mumbled. Duo put the bright pink curlers into Relena's hair. "Isn't she a bute folks?" Trowa sweat dropped " um.. Sure Duo."  
  
Duo picked up a compact. "Ok now let us make you even more beautiful." Duo began applying blush. He held a picture up as worked. "Dum .bee... dun. dee.You look fabulous." "Really?" "Would I lie to you?" Relena blushed. "Oh you flatter me." guess who forgot she's wearing? Duo picked up the lipstick. "Now hold still. We don't want red teeth do we?" Duo turned winked at Trowa. "Now for the jewelry. He reached into the bag. "Hum....dee.. dum.. That's nice. Doesn't she look pretty?" Trowa almost fell over. "And a yes from our studio audience." Duo grinned as he began to remove the curlers. He just flung the little pink things everywhere. In less then five minutes the floor was littered with them. Duo moved so Trowa could focused on the now very red and very curly hair. Duo Slipped on the white gloves and purse. "Ok now the hat." Duo held up the hat. He danced around Relena with a few times before putting it on her curly head.  
  
A trail of drool rolled down her chin as she daydreamed about Heero. They were running threw a field of yellow. Everyone knows Heero hates yellow flowers I'm not going to get into anymore of the dream there could small children reading this. She sudden became of sound of laughter. She opened her eyes and gazed threw a pair of glasses.  
  
"Ah, our lovely contestant awakens." Duo began clapping again before he held up a mirror up to camera. "Let's show her what we've done." Duo turned the mirror to face Relena. Relena stared into it the scary women stared back. "I WILL KILL YOU BOTH FOR THIS!!!!!" Relena screamed at the top of lungs. Trowa started to back towards the stairs. "Aw Tro I don't think she likes it at all." Duo pouted as he turned his back on Relena. Trowa watched as Relena walked up behind Duo. "um..Duo?" "I mean I spend my precious time DBZing her and this is the appreciation my work gets?" "Duo?" "Why dose no one appreciate my work?" "BEHIND!" Duo ducked as Relena lunged. She Landed on pile of curlers and rolled into the wall. "AHHHH..!!" Duo screamed as ran up stairs. Trowa paused just long enough to tape Relena fall on her ass before fallowing the braided one, the still running camera facing backwards the whole time.  
  
Heero jumped out of the way as terrified Duo ran past him, now golden hair streaming behind him. "AHHHHHHHH...!!" Duo screamed as he ran into Wufei. Duo paused in his running just long enough to get untangled from Wufei. Wufei stood and glared at the retreating golden hair. "Maxwell." Wufei growled. "What going on?" Quatre asked as he walked into the room. He leaned flirtingly against the kitchen table. Wufei glared the basement door. "Well Bulma Duo's just acting like Duo." Heero answered smiling. Wufei looked at him. For a second before turning his head away in disgust. Heero noticed the look and was about to ask him about it when Trowa burst threw the door. Trowa flipped neatly over Wufei and landed on the kitchen table. He pivoted and faced the camera towards the basement door.  
  
The other three pilots turned to stare at him. "Barton what the HELL are you doing?" Wufei asked confused and annoyed. Heero stared at him. Quatre tapped his ankle. "Trowa get off the table." Trowa looked at him. Quatre smiled up at him batting his long lashes. "I'LL KILL YOU BOTH!!" Relena screamed. Heero jumped from in front the door. Wufei fell the floor laughing. The Very, very.fat Relena walled at the kitchen table. She flipped the table over causing Trowa to fall to the floor, all the while camera running. Quatre march over to Relena he stopped in front of her hands on hips. "BITCH!" he screamed. "What?" Relena asked. Quatre glared at her. "You heard me." Trowa stood. "Ow." he mumbled as he rubbed his head. Relena lunged at him, and the camera. Quatre Bitch slapped her. Relena screamed as she flew threw the open door. "Ow..off..ooh." Relena grumbled as she rolled down the stairs. Heero slammed the door shut. Wufei continued to roll around laughing. Quatre walked over to Trowa. "You ok?" Quatre asked concerned. ' I should just about survive." Trowa joked as he continued rubbing his head. Quatre frown. "What was all of that?" "Fun." Trowa said.  
  
"Is she go9ne?" Duo asked. "Yeah She's gone." Trowa said as he stepped over the shattered table. "Where?" "Basement." Heero answered. Wufei wiped his eyes. " That was sooo funny.' Wufei said half crying. "Thanks Wu." Duo grabbed Trowa's are. "You came with me." "Hun? Why/" " I need you. Trust me. Come on." Trowa sighed as Duo pulled him from the room.  
  
"Wait.. you're Quatre?!" Heero squeaked. "I never should have told him he looked good in pink." Wufei mutter hanging his head. Quatre just winked.  
  
Ja Ne till PURPLE.  
  
Remember PURPLE will not be in store until the COLOR WARS have at lest 20 reviews. Gomen again but I need the time to type. If you need something to hold till then go read the Why? files, The killer slinky story , or go read the stories about the Evil Tickle Me Elmo at my Co-account. Death's Angels Productions. The Dolls from HELL comes first. Oh yes and please tell me who Dorothy should become for #8. Thanks. Aishi-Cc 


	6. PURPLE

PURPLE !!?? Aishi_Cc ~ Here we go again.~  
  
"Hey where are we going?" "My room that door won't hold her for long." Trowa sighed as he stopped causing Duo to jerk backwards almost landing on his ass. "Um..can we warn someone when we're going to do that please?" Trowa folded his arms over his chest. Duo sighed knowing he would get Trowa to move unless he talked. "Ok what?" "What are you going to do to me anyway?" Duo blinked. "Me?" he asked sweetly. "Yes you." Duo sniffed. "You don't trust me do you?" He asked sounding very hurt. "Aw don't cry Duo." Duo sniffed even louder, his face hidden behind his hands. "You'd trust Cat. You love Cat more then me." Trowa held up his hands. "Ok,ok...just stop crying." "Yippee!" Duo screamed clapping his hands. "You won't regret this." Trowa sighed.  
  
"Heero what's wrong?" Quatre asked. He was sitting in a chair legs crossed leaning forward filing his nails don't ask "What's wrong?" Heero asked voice shrill. "Oh here we go." Wufei muttered. "Let's see.Duo thinks he's some baka named Goku; Relena is locked in our basement dressed as what I can't even begin to imagine, even if I wanted to go there which I don't; not to mention that at this very moment Duo is doing Kami knows what to Trowa and you..." He trailed off as Quatre blew on his nails. "What about me? You liked it until you found out it was me." He teased. Heero turned away blushing. "Yuy is you are sooo...worried about Barton's safety then why don't you go do something about it instead of complaining to us?" Wufei asked. He was leading against the wall arms crossed and a very Vegetaish glower on his face. keke "You don't think Duo will hurt him do you?" Quatre asked suddenly alarmed. "Just his hair." Wufei muttered. Quatre stared at his still Vegeta styled hair. "I think it's cute. Wufei snorted. "What?" Quatre asked batting his eyes. Wufei shook his head. "On'na." He muttered.  
  
Relena picked her self off of the floor, which at this moment is not an easy task. "They will so pay for this insult." She began pacing, well more like waddling, until an idea hit her. She pulled out her cell phone. "Hi, can you come pick me up? Thanks I'm.."  
  
"Trowa have I ever told you I love you hair?" "Um.no" "It's so soft. I never would of guessed with how it sticks out all over the place." Trowa was silent for a moment. "Yours is nice to Duo." "Thanks." Duo beamed as he added a little more dye. "Almost done." Trowa closed his eyes. "Don't you fall asleep on me now." Trowa gently smacked Duo's arm. Duo smiled. "Done! Sit up." Duo order. Trowa obediently sat up and shifted the towel around his shoulders. Duo picked up a pair of scissors. "Kay hold still I'm going to dye your eyebrows right after a little trim." "You get anything in my eyes.." Trowa started. "Oh stop being a baby." Duo teased as he began cutting.  
  
Wufei sighed. "I miss my old hair." He turned at the sound of a car coming down the driveway. A long white limo pulled up before Dorothy and Zechs stepped out of it. Wufei snorted at them. "Where is my sister?" Zechs asked glaring. "Inside past me." Wufei answered with a sneer. Dorothy sighed. "Typical arrogant Wufei." Dorothy sneered. The driver got out of the car and shook his head in awe. "No way?!" he whispered as he pushed rudely past his employers. " Vegeta, Prince of the Sayian-jin." Wufei stared at him. ~ Prince hun? Interesting.~ "Fool!" Dorothy spat. "No 'prince' would have that hair." She started howling Zechs right on her heels. Wufei balled his fist before he raised his hand, palm out as he had seen Duo do all the time aiming for the limo. He was shocked when a blue beam shot from his had and totaled the limo sending Zechs and Dorothy flying. "AHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhh....!" "MOOOOOOMMMMYYYYYYYYyyyyyyyyyy.....!"  
  
Trowa stared at his now purple hair. "Humm..nice." "Thank you. I must say it turned out perfectly." He handed Trowa a bag. "Here put these on." Trowa looked at him skeptically. Duo smiled. "You got the hair now you need the clothes." He point towards the bathroom. "Off with you now." Trowa shrugged as he walked off.  
  
Heero knocked on Duo's door. "You look great. You really have the body for this .I mean since you work out. Keke." Heero open the door causing the other two to turn and stare at him. Trowa was standing the in the full Trunks outfit, minus jacket. And Duo was standing in front of him a jacket and something under it in his hands. "Nani?" 'Hi He-chan." Duo said as he hand Trowa the stuff. "Heero I'd like to introduce you to Mari Trunks." Duo informed him, proudly showing Trowa off. Heero blinked in astonishment. "What he looks perfect, well except for the green eyes, but I like him better this way." Duo smiled warmly. "He...he..he let you cut his hair?!" Heero managed. To gasped out.Like you'd do any better if you were him? Trowa smiled. "I don't know I kindda like it." "I.I...I." "Oh you got him started again. "Ok Trunks you've done enough damage for the moment. Uncle Goku needs to work on Heero now." " Sure thing Goku." Trowa saluted as hr ran out the door. "Ok now it's your turn Heero. How nice of you to just walk on in for me."  
  
Quatre pouted in the living room. "Wufei sure knows how to act like Vegeta, the jerk." He muttered to himself, while listening to the explosions form outside. "It would seem he's learn he can blow stuff up. Oh joy." He looked up at the sound of someone running down the stairs. Trowa was clasping his sword on as he jumped the last of the stairs. Quatre stared at him. "Tr..Tr.?!" Trowa turned and smiled. "Hey." Quatre blinked. "What did he do?" ~Not that I don't like it." Trowa smiled" "Not much. Later." He called as he ran out the door. Quatre sighed as he sat back down on the couch. "Vegeta and Trunks. Oh this will be fun."  
  
Heero glared at Duo." Don't you dare.." He trailed off when Trowa knocked on the third story window. "Hey." Duo greeted him as he flung open the window. "Trowa handed him a few bags. "You forgot these in the car." "Thanks man. Say what is all that noise?" "It seems Relena will have some company. That is unless Wufei blows them up." "Oh how very Vegeta." Duo stuck his head out the window. "VEGETA YOU BRING THEM IN ALIVE YOU PINEAPPLE HEADED PYSCHO!" He sighed. "Would you be a dear and keep an eye on him?" "Sure." Heero blinked. There was no way Trowa could be outside that window; it over looked the pool so no roofs where therefore him to be standing on. Wufei could not be blowing hole in the backyard. Duo shouldn't of been able to shoot down Relena. His world was going insane. "Mommy." He whispered as Duo opened the bag.  
  
Well that was fun ne? Well you know the drill by now. Soon I'll have Black up. Keke. Oh yeah. I'm also Demonic Goku and Lita 4. I'd love it if you'd come say hi. They're on my fave's list so it's all good. Also if you like this then try How hard is his head, It's going to be one of those days, and the Why? Files. Luv ya really. Aishi 


End file.
